awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
