how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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