You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
