i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
