You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
