He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
