We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
