Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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