So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
