just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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