It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
