Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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