I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
