i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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