So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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