Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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