Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
