I'm sorry my penis didn't work
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
