You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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