I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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