Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
