We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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