i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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