does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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