i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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