I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
barbara walters just said penis...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
