I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
