So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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