i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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