Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
