I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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