whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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