It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
