you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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