yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
