I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
