I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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