Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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