I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
