is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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