I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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