Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
