There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
