Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
