jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
