Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
