If i come over, it means nothing
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
