i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
