It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's never too late to be topless.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
