he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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